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Days 27 and 28

 The last two days are not really worth recording.  

This is like one of those times in the past when I arrived at a point where I never got back on track, and my aim is to change that pattern.  So many times in the past when I would start on Weight Watchers, I would be perfect for the first three weeks or so.  Then as soon as I cheated the first time, it seemed like I could never get back on track.  And then I would quit.  That perfection thinking defeated me.

Also, the first time I had a weigh-in day when I knew or thought I would be up on the scales, I would not go to that meeting because I wanted a loss every time I went.  Then the next week might be worse, and the missed meetings would stretch out until I finally just quit.

Now it's very obvious to me why I have not succeeded in the past.  With those kinds of expectations, who can measure up?  Any kind of journey is dotted with slipups and failures, usually many, along the way.  It's time to end all unrealistic thinking.  

The advice is so good in meetings as to what to do when we have a bad day.  That advice is to just get up the next day and get back on the program, maybe even "forget" that the bad day even happened.  It doesn't work to have a bad day, then go into starvation mode to try to make up for it.  I also have to refuse to stay away from meetings and not be afraid to get on the scale and show a gain.  When I do show up and weigh, I am being accountable.  I am not being afraid of setbacks.

I think I let the plant-based thing distract me somewhat.  Another obstacle has been my fatigue level which I suspect has nothing to do with what I was eating.  I want the most right now to lose weight--above restricting myself to a certain type of eating.  I might think the opposite except that the amount of weight that I need to lose is still so much that just focusing on only "healthy" eating and keeping that up front is going to keep my focus off of the big thing.  The health part will, I strongly suspect, work itself out if I just stay on the program.

I will allow myself, though, the freedom to vary between counting points and counting calories. Or maybe keep doing both.  I have read several people's stories where they counted points for years, then switched to just counting calories, and it worked better for them.  I don't want to limit myself to one method or the other.  If I do either or both, I suspect I will lose weight regardless; consistency in eating less is what is needed. 

It's good that tomorrow is Monday--that usually helps.  But right now, we have our kids staying with us until Thursday, so staying on track may be a challenge until I get back to my normal schedule.  

I plan to enjoy my week with my family regardless!  

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