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Day 19 - The Beginning Does not Determine the End

 12,000 steps, baby!

My day started out kind of low.  I got up late after trying to get a little more step, which didn't happen.  I was thinking that I was just going to try to get through the day under 1600 calories, but didn't really think I would do much more.  I started out with a small waffle with regular syrup, intentionally!  I just wanted one.

I was sort of teary for a little while a little after lunch.  More of that self-doubt.  I keep getting attacked with thoughts telling me I'm not enough; ironically, I also get attacked with thoughts of being too much for people.  Fortunately, I was not really tempted to eat to stuff those emotions.  Pretty soon after that, I decided to at least get some steps done.  After walking a few laps, I set the time for 9 minutes and jogged.  

As I was jogging, I was remembering scripture about God being there in the depths and in the heights of our lives.  He is my perfect, loving Father who fills all of those holes that have been left by trauma and loss.  The more I live in this truth, the more whole I will be.  

The rest of the day was good!  I ended up having plenty of energy.  I walked on and off, even walking a mile outside after the sun went down.  We are in the midst of a short heat wave, but it cooled off quickly this evening.  I also did some pushups and squats.

Foods the rest of the day included string cheese, chicken tortilla soup with no cheese or tortillas, a WW mug cake, a peanut butter sandwich.  It wasn't very balanced but not a ton of calories.  36 points, but only 1043 calories.  

I was down 1.6 pounds from yesterday.  

I think a lot about firming up the mindset of long-term weight loss.  I have got to quit this yo-yo, on and off dieting, taking off 10-50 pounds and regaining.  Stay with this, through good and bad, day in and day out.  Learn how to do this successfully.  I also like to think a lot about what continuing this journey will lead to.  I'm not young anymore.  I want to challenge thoughts of inevitable limitations as I get older.  I know that I can regain much of my youthfulness if I will stay with this, if I will dare to reach high.  


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