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Day 4 - Looking at the Big Picture

 I am so pleased to be back on this journey again.  Looking back over my life, it's always been such a plus when I am actively losing weight and/or getting fitter.

This time, back on the journey, I think about how many times I have been on track and then let so many things throw me off.  I could list a ton of different reasons, which I won't get into at the moment.  But it has occurred to me that I must get into a mindset that this is something I need to do, really must do, and not let things in my life derail me.

Giving a little background, I do and have had many different obstacles and challenges that can defeat me, if I let it.  I struggle with depression, have fibromyalgia (much milder in the recent past), years of insomnia, some major relationship situations that I have not found an answer to, getting older, believing lies about myself and other things. And there are the challenges all of us in the world are facing right now during this pandemic and time of unrest. It makes me think of the serenity prayer, recognizing the things I cannot change, changing the things I can and knowing the difference between the two.  

Honestly, a lot of my near future might  seem dim and not extremely bright--that is, if I look at it from a certain perspective.  But I know God is challenging me not to accept this belief!  I want to be brave enough to face life head on, find happiness in the present moment, and be an inspiration to others.

Two years ago, I found myself in such a deep, dark place that I hardly ever found a reason to even get up out of bed, much less leave the house.  Thankfully, I have come quite a ways from that place, but still far to go.  

I'll encourage myself by remembering some recent steps I have taken:  Starting last August, I stayed on a Keto diet, without cheating, for five complete months, while attending Weight Watchers meetings.  I kept the Keto part quiet.  It was an experiment to see how it affected me physically.  For me, five months without cheating is amazing.  By the way, that is how I lost the 38 pounds.  I did some projects at home, finishing decorating a room in the house.  Two weeks ago, I told Jake (my husband) that I wanted to take on all of the housework.  He works very hard, and was doing quite a few chores, taking up the slack that I left in the funk I was in.  That has felt good, like I'm getting back into life and taking care of my responsibilities.  Also, in the last couple of weeks, I caught up on about 18 months of QuickBooks for Jake's remodeling business.  I usually end up doing much of it last minute in order to get the taxes filed.  

That is not a ton of things, but it is a beginning.  And these are just concrete things that others can see.  Much bigger is beginning an inner transformation of toxic beliefs and attitudes that God has shown me.  

So this is just a start in putting my weight loss and health into perspective.  

Now to my Day 4:

I was pretty hungry today and started off with 8 points that I had already eaten late last night, so I focused on eating mostly zero point foods all day.  I was also rather lazy as it has turned almost winter-like while still technically summer!  And in west Texas!  That's almost heard of.  But I love it and have been reading and had a fire going all day.  

Extreme early morning snack:

PB sandwich - 8 points

Breakfast:

Oatmeal - 0 points

Lunch:

Two scrambled eggs with light string cheese stick - 1 point

Snack:

Smoothie with some frozen fruit, plain nonfat yogurt and an egg - 0 points

Dinner:

Grilled chicken breast, baked potato, covered with 1/4 cup of broccoli soup, green beans - 2 points

Evening snacks:

Handful of Reese's Cocoa Puffs - 2 points; nonfat cottage cheese with pineapple - 0 points; PB sandwich - 5 points





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